A misleading and misguided campaign

By Ryan Amante

There it is, staring at us from the door of the bathroom stall: "Silent Crime, Confident Criminal: Who is 'Mr. Nice Guy'??"

I ripped this paper off the door in the bathroom and pointed it out to my neighbors on the all-boy Market wing of first-floor Dunne. Most of them snorted with thinly veiled amusement, while freshman Alex Nelson was a little more vocal: "So basically we're all 'Mr. Nice Guys.'"

For those of you who haven't seen it, the "Mr. Nice Guy" article discusses the common traits of sexual predators in college. It lists positive and negative characteristics, his supposed weapons of choice and his plan of attack.

So why were we so incredulous when we read an article about sexual predators? Let's start with the positive characteristics of this "Mr. Nice Guy." He is athletic and body conscious, outwardly confident, attractive, well-liked by women, has a "leader of the pack" personality and leads an active social life.

Negative traits of "Mr. Nice Guy" include egocentrism, a constant search for attention, social immaturity, a lack of guilt, manipulative nature, a tendency to brag about his "scores," is well-liked by others (so he'd never be suspected), a strong ability to rationalize and deny, an inability to handle rejection and does not see his actions as rape.

Barring the last two negative traits, this description could encompass a variety of individuals. I thought that this article could be dangerous either way it was perceived. If it was taken with a grain of salt, girls would brush off the warnings because of their ambiguity. If it was taken to heart, girls would be overly paranoid about meeting new people, especially guys.

So I decided to dig a little deeper and see if I could uncover the real face of the so-called "Mr. Nice Guy."

Two of my friends, Stephanie and Heather, had been severely shaken by a run-in with someone who was rather forward with them and who they felt was a predator. Hoping to fill in the gaps left by the article, I had the opportunity to hear their thoughts on the accuracy of the "Mr. Nice Guy" description.

Both Stephanie and Heather lead a rather active party life, and are thus exposed to many different people. I was surprised by a lot of the things they had to say. However, they were both rather skeptical of the article. According to Stephanie, "The description is just too vague -- except for these last two here. Those are telling signs, but it takes much more than a 10 minute conversation to know that he doesn't see his actions as rape." Both Stephanie and Heather were of the opinion that there was no way to really typify a sexual predator.

I asked them both how common in their experience, people they considered to be sexual predators were.

After talking amongst themselves, Heather spoke up, saying that, "Most girls who go out as often as we do have some kind of experience. They've been in an uncomfortable position with a guy at least once."

I then asked them how long it took for them to realize that a nice guy wasn't a genuinely-nice guy. According to Heather, "You only notice the difference when things start to go wrong. If he can't take a 'no' and things get uglier, then there's definitely some major trouble."

There are more telling signs and better ways to establish awareness for issues such as sexual assault than to release an article that spews out vague characteristics that could fit the description of your brother. This creates undue paranoia for accomplishing so little. I understand that it's meant to be taken into consideration, but after less than an hour of conversation, I found out more useful information than I did when I read the article.

This is for you, ladies of Santa Clara. Remember, not every nice guy is "Mr. Nice Guy." And not every "Mr. Nice Guy" exhibits all the traits of "Mr. Nice Guy." After all, as Heather said, "They're just like every other guy. And then things start to go wrong."

Ryan Amante is a freshman marketing major.