Bilingual Dilemma: Speaking Spanish
By Jose Dorador
Mi nombre completo es Jose Rodrigo Dorador Madrigal. I was born in Mexico and my native tongue is Español.
Eleven years ago my family migrated to the U.S. At that time, I only knew how to use four English words: one, two, three and lemon. I knew nothing else. My mother enrolled me at T.G. Barr Elementary weeks into the school year. Since I didn't speak English, I spent half the day at English as a Second Language classes. By the end of that year I knew English better than my English-speaking classmates.
Today, I speak both English and Spanish fluently. I prefer English because I grew up in America, but Spanish will forever be my first language, sort of like a first love. I feel comfortable using either language, but around campus I speak mostly English because I feel I can articulate myself better with it. But when I get the chance, I do speak Spanish.
However, when I speak Spanish at Santa Clara, I feel out of place and uncomfortable. When I order my food in Spanish at the sandwich station I know non-Spanish speakers notice and I always feel anxious about what they are thinking.
When I asked junior Eugene Trilesnik, what he thought about hearing Spanish spoken on campus he said he "doesn't care if people around campus talk in any language," but admitted that he would feel left out if he was in a group conversation where people started speaking in Spanish.
I admit that I still feel uncomfortable talking in Spanish, and that probably has to do with some of my prior experiences.
About six years ago when I was in high school an older gentleman once heard me speaking Spanish at a doctor's clinic and scolded me, telling me to "speak English, (because) we are in America!"
California, Arizona and other states have tried to pass legislation to make English the official language of the state, which would make it acceptable to tell people to speak English.
This verifies that the older gentleman who scolded me is by no means alone in his views that English is the only language that should be spoken in America. Thankfully, no laws have been passed to make English the official language of the state, and even if they did, I would have a constitutional right to speak Spanish under the second amendment. I will continue to speak Spanish around campus, even if I do feel a little bit uncomfortable.
In becoming fluent in English, I lost the ability to use Spanish to its fullest potential and, thus, the ability to fully connect with my parents. I feel as though I lost a little bit of myself.
As Cesar Chavez put it, "our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers." If this is true, then by assimilating I lost some of my character, but I also gained a new one through the English language. Even so, I will always miss my first love.
Jose Dorador is a senior philosophy and economics major.