Coming out against hate speech

By Andrew Engel

I have a confession to make: I'm gay.

And while many of you are having a hard time right now understanding this fact, and are presumably completely shocked, please know that I am thrilled with this lifestyle, and I am very well adjusted.

I won't lie. There are a lot of things that have made me question being gay. I have suffered with the knowledge that the majority of people in this world are not gay, and have wondered with great pain why this is and how to bridge that divide.

My friends, I am gay not because I am not heterosexual. Rather, I am what Webster's Dictionary defines as "happily excited, merry, keenly alive and exuberant, having or inducing high spirits, and bright or lively." Simply put, I love life.

"Whoa! Okay now! Deep breath! That Engel dude really isn't gay!"

But for those of you who had thought for a moment that I was gay, I ask: Would it really matter to you if I was? Given how you knew me five minutes ago, would our relationship change with that new knowledge? Would your relationship with a sibling, another good friend or a favorite professor change if he or she came out?

I presume that for some of you, it would make a difference, whether positively or negatively. However, for others, sexual preference wouldn't change a single thing.

Several weeks ago, I remember hearing SportsCenter anchor Kenny Mayne say while covering a highlight of an NBA game -- arguably the most homophobic professional sports league in the country -- that the elated victorious team was "gay." I was certain that I had heard wrong, but I listened to it again, and, sure enough, that was the word of choice.

Wow! I thought. This guy feels comfortable on national television using a word that has become so stigmatized and vilified to describe the players' happiness, or gayness, when most in this country assume those players are 100 percent straight. Talk about courage!

I have another confession to make: I used to be a homophobe.

And while many of you are having a hard time right now understanding this fact, and are presumably completely shocked, please know that I am not thrilled with this lifestyle, have suffered with the knowledge that there are many people in this world that are homophobic, and have wondered with great pain why this is and how to bridge that divide.

In high school, "gay," "faggot" and "queer" were a regular part of my vocabulary and were always used to insult someone or say something was "stupid."

It wasn't until my German teacher called me on it senior year that I began to seriously reconsider what I was saying, and started making a conscious effort to avoid these words.

About a month ago, an Oklahoma legislator made comments that went largely under the radar. Republican state Rep. Sally Kern was recorded in a meeting with other lawmakers saying vehemently, "I honestly think it (homosexuality) is the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam."

Because of the sheer absurdity of these statements, I will not delve into the disgusting hate and ignorance spewed forth from this woman, except to say that she is not alone. There are too many people out there, perhaps on this campus, that whole-heartedly agree with her, and this is a problem.

Which brings me to my point: The language we use does matter. Think, for example, if I had not opened this piece the way I did. You may have immediately dismissed it as another progressive trying to advocate for gay rights and tolerance. The very fact that I chose to use a tragically outdated synonym for happy to describe myself, while I gather most of you assumed I meant something completely different, proves that the language we use profoundly affects how we think and interact with each other.

Hateful speech affects us all. I know the view some will take that First Amendment rights guarantee freedom of speech, but hateful speech is not allowing people to live freely. It hinders and harms, closets and silences, and breaks down individuals who might otherwise contribute their life, beauty and words to this world.

You may not agree with the gay lifestyle, or another culture's customs, or maybe you don't ponder the difficulties associated with being mentally handicapped, but each and every human being on this earth deserves the utmost respect, love and understanding. We should be to the point where we are wise, mature and kind enough to make the use of derogatory terms outdated and long forgotten.

I'm not perfect. None of us are. But I truly believe that the moment we forget to respect, love and understand each other, we have failed in our obligation to each other as equal and loving human sisters and brothers.

It is possible to change the way we live with and talk to each other. I am living proof of this. Be that proof, too, and change the world.

Andrew Engel is a senior biology major.