Etiquette dinner teaches students importance of manners

By Brittany Benjamin

Pop quiz: Your boss asks you to lunch to discuss a major promotion. The only trouble is he also invites several of your top competitors. Nervous and famished, you reach for your bread plate to find that your neighbor has mistaken your bread plate for his.

Do you: (a) loudly confront the not-so-etiquette-savvy neighbor by chucking his misplaced bread at his head, (b) steal your other neighbor's bread plate and leave him to fend for himself or (c) casually pull the waiter aside and ask for another bread plate?

If you answered (c), congratulations, you just received the promotion of your dreams.

The "Oh, Behave! An Etiquette Dinner" on Nov. 6 taught approximately 70 participants, mostly upperclassmen, that table propriety could mean the difference between flipping burgers at McDonald's and living the high life as a CEO.

"It's the person who displays etiquette and is kind and respectful who has the edge over another candidate with the same qualifications," said Sharyn Amoroso, the event's speaker and professional etiquette consultant.

"Oh, Behave!" showed participants how to expand their social and professional networking through proper conduct in dining experiences. The professionally dressed participants took part in a four-course meal in the Williman Room in Benson Memorial Center while learning dining tidbits from Amoroso.

Hosted by the Career Center and sponsored by Enterprise Rent-A-Car, it was a three-hour crash course in etiquette. The participants paid $10 for the dinner, which included soup, salad, a spaghetti and chicken breast entrée, and dessert. "I'm here to learn how to eat," said sophomore Cheryl Taguma, a business major. "I don't want to look like a pig at a professional dinner."

The event started with drinks and hors d'oeuvres in the adjoining Benson Parlors, where students mingled and practiced their ability to network by meeting new people.

"It's a skill that everybody needs to know," said Kathy Potter, director of the Career Center, before the dinner began. "It's one of those things that if you don't do it well, it shows."

Students learned that name tags should always be worn on the right jacket lapel, in a new acquaintance's direct line of sight when shaking hands. In order to be prepared to shake hands, the right hand should be kept clean and empty of plates or drink glasses.

Amoroso encouraged students to leave the sides of the friends they arrived with and practice meeting new people, even if it meant small talk, which Amoroso said was a good way to break the ice. Students then shyly moved about the room to introduce themselves to one another.

"This is great practice for the real world," Amoroso said of students' inhibitions to meet new people. "It's safe in here."

Moving into the Williman Room for dinner, Amoroso taught the basics of fine dining -- like which utensils to use with different courses or how to properly hold a spoon or fork.

When faced with a dining dilemma, Amoroso said, it's safest to follow the lead of the dinner host.

"Etiquette isn't about perfection, it's about respect," said Amoroso. "Most of it is common sense."

During the different courses, Amoroso also answered students' tougher and more embarrassing questions, such as if they should point out the giant piece of lettuce stuck in a colleague's tooth.

"Save them!" Amoroso said, who recounted an embarrassing story from a business luncheon where she had a chunk of spinach stuck in her teeth and was never told. In this situation, she said students should inconspicuously tell or pantomime to the colleague to check his or her teeth and save him or her from further embarrassment.

In order to avoid such moments, she encouraged all students to order "safe food" that is easy and clean to eat. This may vary for each person depending on what you feel comfortable eating in front of others.

As a rule of thumb, Amoroso said foods such as baby back ribs and spaghetti with marinara sauce should be saved for dining at home.

Ultimately, Amoroso wanted students to gain an understanding of etiquette skills that makes them feel safe in pressured dining experiences, such as business lunches or cocktail parties.

"I want you to feel comfortable or poised so you don't even have to think about etiquette," she said. "Think about the business at hand."

Contact Brittany Benjamin at (408) 551-1918 or brbenjamin@scu.edu.