How to Make a Winning Intramural Team

Intramurals are here, and with them come the wannabe Division I athletes. Yes, you may have played club basketball in high school and attend Santa Clara, but someone must remind you that you are not a part of the team that beat Gonzaga last week.

Have no fear though. Intramurals are back and this is your shot to redeem yourself to the college scouts who overlooked you. I know, I know, some of you could’ve played at a DI school but it had worse academic ratings than Santa Clara. We applaud you for hanging up your jersey and prioritizing your education.

Now we’ve established that you are good enough to play winter quarter soccer and basketball intramurals. But now the question is, how do you form a winning team? Of course, you will do all the heavy lifting. There is no I in team, but…there is in “intramural.” But, that's beside the point. The first step to secure the coveted IM champion t-shirt is scouting your team.

I personally recommend Malley. There is no shortage of elite athletes showing off their dunking skills during a lovely Wednesday night pick-up game. Or, if soccer is more your speed, find the fastest person running the campus loop because, let's be honest, if you can run fast, you can probably play soccer.

Also, make sure you are captain. It might seem obvious, but it is not something to be taken for granted. You will love the power trip that comes from declining members who want to join, and choosing a team that you created will resolve that deep-seeded trauma of getting picked last for kickball in middle school phys-ed.

However, there is still one more challenge to overcome when creating your team: women. In the world of intramural co-ed sports it is required that some women join your team. Yes, this is possibly an obstacle for those of you who have never played a sport with women before. But, do not fret, you can still be a ball hog even if you have to share the court or the field with women.

That is all the advice I have. If I gave you any more input then you might actually have a chance at beating my soccer and basketball team this quarter. So, with this, I wish you the best of luck on your intramural endeavors.