Prop 19: No Weed, No Way

By Kyle Kubo

It's that time again, boys and girls. The mud is slinging, the pundits are punding it, and Cap'n Crunch and the latest obnoxious Geico mascot are forced to compete with furrow-browed teachers and firemen for televised ad space. The state elections are upon us once more! But before you dust off the old "Vote or Die!" t-shirt and don your political participation mittens, listen first to the rallying cries of the concerned citizenry that ring out from sea to shining border with Nevada. Nestled amongst the usual bellows of "Free Willy!", "Execute Willy!" and "Make Willy re-draw congressional district lines!" can be heard fervent cries of "Yes we cannabis!", "Mary Jane is not my lover!" and "Only you can prevent more get high-ers!" (much to the chagrin of Tokey the Bear). Yes, marijuana, that wiliest of weeds, has finagled its leafy way onto the ballot in the form of

Prop. 19, which would decriminalize the possession of up to one ounce of ganja. For those of you not metrically minded, that's roughly 28 joints, 150 brownies or one medium sized Chia Pet. Other stipulations include allowances for the home production and smoking of the aforementioned wacky tobacky, as well as potential local allowance of its retail distribution. Both sides of the resultant debate are ablaze (one side in more than one sense of the word) with controversy. This issue is a cannabinoid-laced minefield of opinion. Each side fraught with the dangers of being labeled either a stoned-cold kush pusher or reefer madness finger-wagger of yesterdecade. Nevertheless, what sort of article would this be if it didn't take a stand? An awful one, that's what sort! Ergo, here are some reasons why the West Coast melting pot should not legalize melting pot - or smoking or vaporizing it - the jury's still out on crocheting hemp blankets. A prime concern when discussing the great green elephant in the room has been the other adjacent great green attention-grabber. No, not you Hulk. I'm speaking of course about money. That emerald temptress whose papery wiles have brought about more change (pun intended) in this country than four Obamas and a Rutherford B. Hayes, combined. Proponents of Prop. 19 (or the 420th amendment, as it shall likely be known) offer up this argument: that the state revenues accrued from taxing weed will help shovel us out of our communal budget deficit dung heap. Other things we could tax to bolster the state's credit score? Prostitution, dog fighting and organized crime (the more organized and criminal, the better), just to name a few. These examples alone don't illustrate the folly of legalizing pot, but there is a point to be made about The Golden State not just having its mind on its money and its money on its mind. Morality is like banana bread; if you neglect it on the shelf for too long, it can get real sketchy real quick. Lady Liberty may be hard up for cash, but I think she can get by without turning tricks, with or without the assistance of Richard Gere. Ultimately, we are left with the issue of Mary Jane herself: is getting high really so irreconcilably bogus as to warrant the state's enforced condemnation? Here's the largely undisputed thing: getting high - or drunk - impairs one's ability to think rationally and perform tasks. Whether you're in your Chemistry final, an NBA championship, a conversation with your parents, or trying to hang a tapestry in your living room, rarely, if ever, is it a good idea to sub in the guy who is currently baked out of his mind. Full disclosure: we Californians are not nearly so perfect that we can afford to take on life half-cocked or half-backed. For better or worse, we need every able-bodied guy and gal to stay that way, no matter how persuasive "That '70s Show" can be. Kyle Kubo is a freshman English major.