Reflecting Again

A farewell letter from the Design Editor.

In high school, I was briefly part of our school newspaper. The emphasis here is on “briefly;” I didn’t really enjoy the work or the community, and after the school year ended I figured I’d had enough of newspapers altogether and would never be part of one again.

During my first year at Santa Clara, one of my goals was to do graphic design for the yearbook. I already loved art and had a growing interest in graphic design; it seemed like a great opportunity for me. When I saw the opening, I immediately applied for the job. I didn’t get the job.

In my second year, I was working at the front desk in the facilities department and planning to take on a new involvement for the following year—but also failing to find the perfect option. As the end of the school year approached, I finally happened to see an opening for a design position at the school newspaper. I was shook. Since when did we have a newspaper here?

By now it should be clear that working at The Santa Clara was not my dream on-campus involvement, or even on my radar, when I started college. I applied nonetheless and joined the staff in my junior year, but immediately encountered another twist in the road: my editor quit unexpectedly, and as the only graphic designer, I was promoted to a new position before the school year even started.

After all of this, I didn’t really know what to expect, both from the job and from myself. I think that makes it all the more exciting to look back now and see all that I’ve gained from my two years as The Santa Clara’s design editor.

My intention was still to gain work experience in art and design, a long-time passion of mine that I was only just beginning to pursue more seriously. In my new role, I spent most of my time creating graphics that could accompany articles or fill space in our printed newspaper.

Prior to this position, my main art experience was working on my personal ideas, a hobby that I enjoyed but that also often left me stuck in a rut. As a long-time perfectionist, I would spend months agonizing over a single piece of art, and I struggled to practice anything over a long period of time if I didn’t see results fast enough.

I still remember being asked to make a quick design during the first week of fall quarter, and drawing something that did not meet my standards. I questioned whether this was the right place for me.

But over the course of two years, my skills and confidence in my abilities have slowly grown. For once, I was working with a tight time constraint that required me to create what I could in only a few days, and then pivot to brand new ideas in the next week; often I was stressed about finishing what I planned, but there was also no time to overthink. I’ve tried out new techniques and more ambitious ideas, and found myself loving more and more of what I created. I even won two awards for some of my graphics!

I think no one is more surprised than I am at how much progress I’ve made and how consistent practice has paid off in a very visible way. Now, I simply have to look at the full array of artwork to remind myself what I’m capable of.

My experience has provided me with valuable lessons I plan to take with me into the future. In a bit of a 180-degree turn, I want to take a break from art and design in my work life and return to my many personal art ideas, which I know will benefit from my new skills and new commitment to consistent practice.

I also want to incorporate patience and steady growth into other aspects of my life. Much like the growth of my art, I think I’ve grown as a person during my time at college: in small, barely there ways, that all add up over the past four years to make me better than I was before. I’ve learned about the challenges I face, the relationships I want to cultivate, and the values I hope to uphold. And just as I never imagined what I would create in my two years at The Santa Clara, I’m excited and hopeful for even more self-reflection, self-growth, and personal success in the years to come.

Beyond my experience as design editor, I will remember the value I gained just from being a part of the editorial staff. Even though it was unexpected, the opportunity to join The Santa Clara couldn’t have come at a better time in my college career.

When I started commuting to school after my first year, I found it difficult to stay connected with my friends or meet new people. It stands out in my mind as a depressing time when I often felt lonely and separated from the close-knit campus community I had once appreciated. I regretted coming to Santa Clara University, and sometimes considered transferring or dropping out altogether.

The Santa Clara has helped me find a community on campus where I could feel connected to college again. Spending time with the other editors at budget meetings and layout nights will always be among my favorite college memories. It continues to stand out to me, even as I know the majority of our in-person work was cut off by the pandemic. I’m sad to have missed out on more of those moments, but even during this challenging past year, just being part of the staff has been a welcome connection to better times.

I have so much gratitude for my fellow editors for not only giving me the chance to grow as a designer, but for also giving me a home and family on campus when I needed it.

My time at The Santa Clara has ended just as another chapter of my life, my undergraduate experience, came to a close as well. After a lifetime of being guided by this ultimate goal of graduating college, the future is largely unplanned, uncertain and full of blank pages.

Luckily—I promise this is the last time I use an aspect of my job as an analogy for life—this is a challenge I’ve faced before, alongside the other editors graduating with me. We’ve spent many weeks filling blank pages, or in my case, a blank Illustrator artboard. Now, the possibilities are even more limitless. In the blank space lying ahead, there is freedom to rediscover old hobbies, learn about new interests, and create something spectacular.

I’m excited to see where we all go as we move forward into the next chapters of our lives. I can’t think of any group of people more prepared to do great things with blank pages!