Stay awake for this year's World Cup

By Jack Ferdon

Prepare to live like speed-fiend truck drivers, soccer fans. The World Cup is in Japan and Korea this year and most games will be televised between 2:00 and 4:30 am. Throw in that the tournament's first round is during dead week and finals week, and viewers are looking at a 14-day soccer-orgy.

Fans will have to figure out how to stay awake for those matches that are worth the sleep deprivation. Here are a few suggestions to make the decision easier:

USA vs. Poland, June 14, 4:30 a.m. With Portugal expected to dominate the group, the U.S. will need to win this game to advance to the second round. Frankie Hejduk and the rest of America's defenders will have to stop the Poles' Emmanuel Olisadebe. To stay awake, try eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs laced with meth - also known as Crack-o Puffs.

Ireland vs. Germany, June 5, 4:30 a.m. Ireland was rocked last week when their best player, Man U midfielder Roy Keane, was kicked off the squad for insubordination. Apparently, Keane let loose on his coach with a diatribe concerning the team's poor training facilities and drinking habits. Now every bogger in Ireland is crying in his Beamish and praying for a miracle, which the Keane-less team might need to beat the solid German squad. How to stay awake? Chasing four Guinesses with a sixer of Spaten will probably have the reverse effect, but do it anyway.

Argentina vs. England, June 7, 4:30 a.m. Better cut off your eyelids for this baby. Twenty years to the month after the sides fought in the Falklands war, the pair meets again on the field. The nationalistic fervor surrounding the match will be high, especially for the Argentines. While a success on the pitch - the team is a slight favorite over France to win the Cup - the country's economy has collapsed. A win will bring some desperately needed national pride.