Take an IOU on shopping

By Maggie Beidelman

This year's Black Friday will be the happiest of my life.

I will have a party with recycled candles and cheap wine to celebrate the worst economic situation in years.

I hate shopping.

Every year, Americans wake up at an ungodly hour to squeeze their vehicles into the last parking spot on earth and stampede the automatic doors of sale-laden department stores.

Moms jog along, hauling 25 shopping bags, with leashed kid in tow.

Teenagers trash fitting rooms, leaving masses of clothing bunched in chaotic piles where the size seven jeans you need probably hide.

What is it about spending all day rushing from store to store, waiting endless hours in line to obtain all that loot?

Does your dad really need that stupid singing fish or your niece those new and improved light-up reindeer antlers?

Twenty-five percent off. 50 percent off. 75 percent off! The higher the number, the more crap Americans are willing to buy.

Why do we lower ourselves to such standards?

Personally, I'd rather save my money to buy a few nice things and some thoughtful gifts rather than get caught up in the race to the finish line -- whoever buys the most presents first wins! Obviously.

I think Black Friday is more of an excuse for businesses to get rid of last year's leftovers than really give a good price for the things worth purchasing.

Tell me something else: Why do people get dressed up to go shopping? The whole point of shopping should be to purchase new clothes to work in or to go out in -- not to shop in.

In this frenzied consumer culture of America, shopping has become a mere excuse to show off one's wealth.

After all, how many customers do you see shopping for a new Gucci purse without another Gucci purse already perched on her arm?

And during holiday crunch time -- Halloween to Christmas Day -- consumer culture is at its worst.

What's really sad is that Black Friday isn't the biggest shopping day of the year -- the Saturday before Christmas is. So we don't just hurry to spend our paychecks on the day after Thanksgiving, we buy thoughtless last-minute presents, too.

This Black Friday, I urge you to reclaim your dignity and stay home.

Take advantage of the fact that as a poor college student in a terrible economy, you can't afford to buy anything, anyway.

Reintroduce the art of the handmade gift: cards, baked goods, scarves, IOUs.

Just don't forget to inscribe that heart-warming "Made with Love" on the back.