The College Dating Game

By Feliz Moreno

Many college students these days take part in the popular "hook-up" culture, letting committed relationships fall by the wayside. Adults like to blame the sleazy tendencies of our generation on an over-sexualized pop culture, and this may be true, but I don't foresee our generations perspective on sex changing anytime soon. Therefore, if you're a college student trying to figure out what the deal is with everyone hooking up and breaking up, then good luck.

And what is the definition of hook-up exactly? According to Urban Dictionary, it is defined both as making out with someone and as having sex with someone. In this instance, I am referring to the latter option, but the term is used differently based on personal preference.

The difficult thing about dating in college is that every person has their own set of rules. Unlike when our parents and grandparents were our age, there are no longer strict expectations that young people remain celibate until marriage. For many, this is ideal. It means you can be with someone physically without having to bear the burden of his or her emotional issues. Unfortunately, it hardly ever works out well.

The problem with hook-ups is that it often opens the floodgates for more complicated emotional issues when two people are physically involved but not declaratively committed. And if one of you is under the impression that the relationship will actually develop into something more substantial while the other person is just in it for the moment, heartache is practically guaranteed.

It may seem reasonable to discard the option of hook-ups altogether in order to spare the heartache. However, I think getting to know someone better without placing the pressure of having to stay together and becoming committed is actually a nice option. If you decide you don't want to get more thoroughly acquainted with that person, it is convenient for skipping the messy break up and being able to move on quicker. In the happy-ending case where you decide you would like to be committed to that person, you guys are already half way there.

So where does a hook-up end and a relationship begin? Some assume its when the couple declares it to be a relationship. I beg to differ.

My general rule is if you have been hooking-up with someone for a long enough time that all your friends know about it and the two of have not been seeing other people, then you are considered to be in a relationship.

Even if you have not discussed your relationship status with each other, if everyone knows that it's going on, then denying that it is a relationship is kind of pointless.

Also, if the two of you are holding hands, kissing or partaking in long affectionate embraces in public, then you have moved beyond the preliminary "hook-up" stage. If you are indulging in any of those displays of affection frequently and without censorship from the people you hang around with, then you are in a relationship and you shouldn't bother trying to deny it.

The final thing to keep in mind when it comes to dating in college is your expectation for the relationship. Be honest with yourself when you consider this, and consider that when deciding the pace you will be going at.

Oftentimes, relationships prove more formidable when you wait longer to make a home run. Of course, as in all other aspects of life, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Feliz Moreno is a sophomore English major and editor of the Opinion section.