The First-Year Fall Seniors Never Had

Suitcases, trunks of clothes and lamps traveled across campus, up the elevators of Swig Hall, stairs of Graham Hall and down the hallways of Casa Italiana Hall this welcome weekend, in what felt like a return to the normal, stress-inducing college move-in, the classic first-year student drop-off day was in full swing.

In my mind, I always pictured first-year move-in this way: my new community facilitator greeting me with a bright smile as I spread my Bed Bath & Beyond sheets across a twin XL while my mom grabbed tissues from her back pocket every ten minutes. I made it to college! Welcome to Santa Clara! Soon enough, Claradise would be my new home.

First-years, is it really that simple? As a senior, I wish I could tell you – but I can’t. The what could’ve been question has crossed the minds of everyone who began classes during fall 2020.

While moving into my off-campus house a few weeks ago, I thought of all the freshmen who would soon be moving into the residence halls. Looking over at Swig, it was hard not to wonder what could’ve been? We all know the story: COVID-19, global pandemic and online school.

My first year at Santa Clara began a little bit differently than yours. So, while you frolic from floor to floor in your dorm meeting new friends and pushing the boundaries of what you once felt was your social limit, I have some insight on what the senior class’s first-year experience was like.

When I was in your position, I was logging onto Zoom trying to find the balance between smiling and looking friendly to my new classmates, but not too overly excited. Starting college on a computer screen wasn’t ideal.

Who might I have become friends with in my cultures & ideas environmental imagination class when I sat down on the first day? But I couldn’t strike up a normal conversation in a breakout room like you can with someone in the chair right next to you. Everything was just too awkward.

Is midnight Benson as a first-year just better than as a sophomore, junior or senior? What clubs may have grabbed my attention at my first involvement fair? I can’t help but ponder how our time at Santa Clara may have gone differently if it didn’t begin behind a computer screen.

College is the first time in our lives that we have more autonomy than we ever have before. Autonomy to create the life we want, the social circle to surround ourselves with and involvement with activities we care about.

But seniors didn’t make one friend in their first year that wasn’t born from pregaming for illegal frat parties – essentially the only social gatherings available for students to come together.

Friendships can certainly be born from hitting Bellomy or off-campus excursions to Sierra Vista with your new roommate. But without the in-between moments of walking to class, going to Benson and hanging out in your residence hall, the feeling of belonging to an on-campus community is lost. We seniors never had this critical transition period together on campus.

The fall involvement fair saw massive crowds of students swarm between tables trying to find their new community. I remember signing up for CHAARG my freshman year, which entailed virtual workouts and virtual socials, but I always left feeling dissatisfied. Not by any fault of the group, but by the lack of an in-person community that it usually is able to boast. I even met a few students who talked about the events organized in their residence halls and how they’re already feeling connected to Santa Clara.

Back in fall 2020, the majority of students beginning classes at Santa Clara stayed home in quarantine. Some students, myself included, decided to move to apartments or houses off-campus with people they met on social media. And come spring 2021, some students moved into the residence halls. However, many students didn’t step foot on campus until their sophomore year. There was no moment of unity for the now-senior class during our first year, and missing out on those initial school-organized events set us on a unique trajectory – one more disconnected than any other graduating class.

College students face challenges, global pandemic or not. Maybe we are more equipped for the uncertainties that are bound to come as most of us leave Santa Clara behind in June. Maybe I slept better my first-year when I wasn’t hearing “wake up Swig!!” every 30 minutes. Maybe it's never too late to find your community, despite the unique circumstances we were given to start off college. It's not all doom and gloom, but for me there will always be room for what could’ve been.